Older Children Need Families, Too
Everyone needs a family. Younger people need families to provide for their basic needs, teach them skills and encourage their development. Older people need families for support in the tough times - and as a group to celebrate with in the good times.
This universal need for a family is the reason that child welfare professionals work so hard to connect foster youth with adoptive families when returning the children to their birth families is not an option. The professionals want to make certain that the child has all the necessary love, support and nurturing to be successful in life.
Research shows that when young people age out of foster care without a permanent family, they have more difficulty with young adulthood. They are more likely to experience early pregnancy or parenthood, criminal involvement, homelessness, lack of employment and mental health issues.1
Many of these young people age out at 18 because their permanency goal has been changed to "independent living." This means the state is no longer focused on finding a permanent family for them, but it is preparing them for life on their own.
However, the idea of "living independently" at 18 may be unrealistic. Pat O'Brien is the founder of You Gotta Believe, a New York-based child welfare agency specializing in teen adoptions. He maintains that none of us truly lives independently - at any age. Instead, he says we are interdependent, relying on others to help meet many of our needs.2
Current research bears this out, especially for young adults. Census data show that among young people in the age group 18 to 24, a majority continue to live with their parents.3 The family provides these young people with an emotional and financial safety net as they seek a job, an apartment and a place in the world.
The question asked by O'Brien and others is this: if many of today's young people - those who haven't experienced the traumas that lead to the need for foster care - require family support well into their mid-20s, how can we expect teens from the foster care system to make it on their own at age 18?
Based on this information, it's clear that providing foster youth with a permanent family connection is critical. Some older youth understand this and continue to seek an adoptive family, even when other people in their lives don't realize the importance of adoption to their futures.
Mary R. Lee, president of the National Foster Youth Advisory Council, was one of these young people. She described the reaction she received when she went before a judge at age 16 and asserted that she wanted to be adopted. "People, including case managers, didn't understand why I wanted to be adopted and they tried to prepare me for the rejection of not finding a family. I told them I had to try because I wanted a family - a home to go to during school breaks, a dad to walk me down the aisle, grandparents for my children and the reassurance I would have unconditional love and support for the rest of my life. Family isn't just about now; it's about the rest of your life."4
Brian Pearson (Welenc) confirms that having a permanent family is important, regardless of your age or life stage. He was adopted by his foster parents at age 30. At the time, he was married and had a second child on the way. But when his foster parents suggested adoption to him a few years ago, he happily accepted their offer. "Having been an adult for many years without a family, being adopted has given me a sense of emotional well-being and security, like I have a firm family foundation. I also have a stable family background for my kids now. I can say, ‘This is your grandma and grandpa.' They're connected to an extended family."
He encouraged foster families to consider adoption when they find themselves strongly connected to a youth in their care. "Kids who are growing up and moving from foster home to foster home have an even greater need for that security and foundation. Adoption frees them up to be a kid without worrying about their next move or whose roof they'll be sleeping under. It's key to helping them build confidence and become more emotionally well-developed as an adult."
The experts, the research and the personal testimonies are confirming our belief that foster youth are just like everyone else - belonging to a family is important to them. And it's important during all stages of their lives - when they're children, when they're adults and when they're negotiating the transition between the two. Throughout our development, family is what grounds us, binds us to others and helps us realize our full selves. Family is not just for children. Family is forever.
References
1. Avery, Rosemary and Madelyn Freundlich (2003). Deleterious Consequences of Aging Out of Foster Care, National Convening on Youth Permanence, Summary Report, 2003.
2. O'Brien, Pat (1996). "Youth Homelessness And The Lack Of Permanent Relational Planning For Teens In Foster Care: Preventing Homelessness Through Relationship." Retrieved May 5, 2006 from the You Gotta Believe website.
3. Fields, Jason (2003). America's Families and Living Arrangements: 2003, page 16, Table 7. Current Population Reports, P20-553. U.S. Census Bureau, Washington, DC.
4. Mary R. Lee (2005). "Engaging Youth in the Child Welfare System," Children's Voice newsletter, October/ November 2005 issue, a publication of the Child Welfare League of America.
